7/28/5: More

The main reason we've been posting all of these stupid college pictures is because it's kinda fun. Stupid and fun, that's our goal here.  The other reason is that about five years ago, Brady in Chicago sent out an email requesting everyone's college pictures. He had a grand vision: to scan and post everyone's pictures in one central internet location, so we could all go check 'em out and download 'em whenever we wanted. A great plan, but also a very time-consuming one. We all sent in our photos, but Brady's a busy man and he just never got around to posting 'em. Until now. Every day, he's reaching into his vaults and emailing around a couple of great shots that I had nearly forgotten about. I in turn am passing them on to you, the reader.

So enjoy them. He may lose interest at any time.

As I look back at them, I realize that in the last 18 years (since my freshman year in college) I have gone through 3 distinct phases: Boy, Transitional Man, and Mature Ugly Man. Boy, as evidenced in today's photo*, lasted from maybe 1974 when I was 4 or 5 through 1993 when I was 23 or 24. Transitional Man, which occupied that teeny little sliver from age 24-26 in the middle there, was a good time. Transitional Man was happy to run his mouth all day long and he didn't worry about a thing. When it was your turn to drink, he'd let you know. He had not yet realized the world owed him nothing. Mature Ugly Man, who emerged in maybe 1996, has fully realized that. Also, he just keeps getting uglier.  We gotta do something about him.

You know what I miss about Boy and Transitional Man and the times they lived in? Streaking. You can pass whatever judgments you want on me, but for my money there is nothing better than a good 4am streak. And Madison is the perfect size city for streaking. Enough cops around to provide the thrill of the potential arrest, and enough people walking the streets so that you might find yourself in a conversation with a stranger as you run past them naked. But not so many people that it makes it hard to streak in a group of ten or twelve without getting caught. As you can see from the expression in the 2005 pic, there will be no streaking any time soon for Mature Ugly Man. That's OK, though. Nobody needs to see Mature Ugly Man naked right now anyway.

Somebody go streaking this weekend. I mean a good mile and a half streak. Thank you.

I do miss those days, but there is plenty to be said about being Mature Ugly Man. You know where you stand. You accept reality. You wake up clear-headed and guilt free and you go to bed knowing that you have the love of a good woman who will always be there for you. You make more money and you are more capable of growing body hair.

Joe Monkeyweb and the lovely Mrs. Monkeyweb stopped by to check out the baby last night, and they gave us a couple of very generous gifts. Wonderful people, those two. One thing they gave us was a large inflatable Curious George doll. It's really cute, but it's also kind of terrifying. If I was alone in the house and I was trying to sleep, and I rolled over to see this character sitting in a chair staring at me, I would scream until the neighbors arrived. Yikes.

OK, for 2 points, tell me why I look distraught in the picture accompanying yesterday's post. If you were there or know the answer already, you are ineligible for these 2 genius points. Also, for 6 points, whodat?

* And it's one of the rare shirts from that era that I wish I could get back. I had it in college fro about two weeks, then somebody lifted it.