5/23/05: Two last drunks for Joe

Well, Joe Monkeyweb is back in the office today. Poor, poor sucker. He has not been looking forward to it.  Not a bit. I've never been laid up that long, and as much as it sucks to be going back to work, there must be some sense of relief to be a full-on productive member of society again. Soon he'll be swinging the old aluminum and picking it at 3rd base.

In honor of Joe's return to good health, Big Jimmy Lang, Joe and I went out for an impromptu boys' dinner on Saturday night. We went to Moran's on 10th avenue, and I'll admit it: I had a steak. Boy was it good. This marked the second time in the last two weeks that I ate an animal. My first transgression was 1/2 a pulled pork sandwich at work about ten days ago. It was free. I will apparently put aside my vegetarian ethics when something is free.
 
Meat's good, and I won't pretend that no part of me misses it at all. I miss crispy bacon like crazy. And I miss hamburgers. Sometimes a nice steak is very good. Maybe a chicken sandwich. But I just can't get over the whole killing part of it. I was in the seafood place downstairs from my office the other day, and I was checking out the lobster tank. There was one big ol' lobster, sitting on top of all the other lobsters, and he was crawling around looking for a way out of there. His claws were bound together and he had a look on his ugly lobster face that said, "Shit. This is bad."

The lobster is a special case, too. They are hideous creatures, basically giant armored cockroaches that crawl around under the sea and try to nip you with their nasty claws. You'd think this would place them in a favorable position on the food chain, but the lobster was dealt one very unfortunate evolutionary blow: it tastes delicious.* So we overlook its grotesque appearance and unpleasant disposition, and we boil the fuckers alive so we can eat them. Yuck.

Killing aside, it was good to see Joe eating a steak and drinking down the cold beer. Medical science kicks ass.

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Well, today is Monday and that means it's probably the day when Brian Castro locks up Lyric Stumpah II.  I can't recall another rookie coming out of nowhere to dominate his chosen sport the way Brian has. Maybe Fred Lynn. I miss Fred Lynn. Perhaps once this round of stumpage is completed, we will start another. And perhaps cW will come out of retirement to take on Brian C. in a tournament of champions type-dealie. And perhaps neither of them will win. Maybe it will be Disco Dan K. who will take the prize. Maybe it will be Fred Lynn. As for now, can anyone stop Castro's rampage?

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Does John Smoltz belong in the Hall of Fame? I think not.

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For ten points, whodat?  For two points, really a formality just because I felt like posting this picture, wheredat? You may begin answering immediately.

* Or so I am told. I have never in my life tasted a gross-ass lobster-monster, and I never will.