5/10/5: A Plea for 'Pak

If you weren't present for the Night of the Living Thugs last weekend, you might not know that Dipak got by far the worst of it from the Thug Bastards.  Really, really bad, the type of shit that simply should not happen. He was physically threatened and harassed, and naturally he was fuming mad when it was all over.  So he decided to do something about it by taking his problem through the proper channels. Unfortunately, sometimes bad luck sticks with you for awhile. Here, in his own words, is Dipak's story and plea for help:

"Just like the Pistons/Pacers brawl, there will be days that will be talked about for many years. So was the case on May 1st which will go down in history as the 'Clarkson Rumble'. For those who were there the ugly events will leave many of us scarred for many months to come and have put a slight sour note on the promising softball season. At the time of the 'incident' we should have called New York City's finest but alas we did not. So after advice from the Parks Department last week, I was told to file a police report. So I went down to 6th Precinct on 10th street prior to the game this week. I parked my car and went inside and tried to act like a solid citizen. But here is the great irony, I come outside after filing the report and what do I see but a parking ticket on my car, a $95 parking ticket. So I am asking everyone out there in Verbungle land if anyone knows or has any kind of connection with the police or parking bureau because hey I want to get out of it. I was doing my civil duty and I get slapped back into reality with a parking ticket! YES THESE THINGS ONLY HAPPEN TO ME. So please help out a fellow VERBUNGLIAN."

If this fails, I suggest we set up a PayPal account to donate money to help D cover the cost of the ticket. No pressure, but if you're feeling sympathetic and you were there on Thug Night you can toss him a few bones. I hereby pledge $8 to get the ball rolling. Since it's unlikely that we'll actually get the PayPal thing going, you could just slip him a bill at the next softball game. Even a dollar would help.  Again, no pressure and no judgment if you're not into it.

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I think maybe Joe Monkeyweb is gonna go back to work next week, so this will be the final week of drunk pics. And if he's not going back to work, then the pics aren't doing their job of healing him up, so we'll discontinue them anyway. Heal up, Monkeyman.  May there be grilled cheeses in your future.

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I think it was EJ who said that this year's RW/RR Challenge blows. Well, I don't know if I can call it good, but I still say it's one of the more entertaining shows on television.  What other program provides quotes like this on a regular basis:

"I'm really not intimidated by Mike and his acting like he's this big tough guy because to be honest witchoo I'm not impressed by that. Congratulations, you're a meathead, son. But you know what? Don't ever put your fuckin' hands in my underwear."

-Brad, the meathead from Illinois, referring to Mike, the meathead from Ohio, who had just given Brad a severe wedgie that didn't sit well with the Bradster.

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I also liked this quote from Seattle Supersonics Center Jerome James, after the team's star Ray Allen left Game 1 of their second round series with a sprained ankle:

"I don't want to even think about not having Ray Allen right now," said Sonics center Jerome James, adding that if Allen can't play, "I am more than ready to step up and play like I did in the last series."

James had just "stepped up" to the tune of 4 points and 2 rebounds in Game 1. Those numbers don't exactly cry out "more than ready," do they? Dude, if you're more than ready, this is an excellent fucking time to start in with the scoring and rebounding and stuff.  We're down by 20 points here. Are you waiting for a signal or something?  NOW WILL DO JUST FINE.

I think Jerome needs a nickname. I kind of like Jerome "More Than Ready" James.

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I think we may be winding down here. Let's get on with another stupid challenge. For 20 points, whodat? Ansers at noon HST pleez.