12/30/04: Anybody that doesn't want to get killed best
clear on out the back
The computer gets stronger every day. I have reloaded my
music (albeit with a 300 song discrepancy), my pictures, my old emails, and my
other assorted old files. It hasn't crashed yet, although I'm sure it'll
be just a day or two before it does. I am going to enjoy that time.
RIP Jerry Orbach. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy and he
was a master at straddling the line between truly embarrassing, terrible acting
and really enjoyable acting. Just an old-fashioned dude beating the odds and
succeeding in a modern world. I've never seen one minute of any of the "Law &
Order" shows, but I've seen him in movies and I went to junior high with his son
Chris. Chris could fucking act, too. He played Mr. Whiteside when we did
"The Man Who Came to Dinner" in 8th grade and it was a freaking tour de force.
The rest of us could barely memorize lines, but Chris was up there busting out
some legitimate acting skills. I always wondered why he never made it in
the business himself. My condolences to the Orbach family.
The boss gave us the day off tomorrow (Thurs), and
acknowledged our hard work over the last month. Good bossing right there
In the meantime, with apologies to Pete B., let's get started on the
Verbungle.com Things of the Year for 2004. Perhaps there will be more. There's
still another full day left after today.
Sportsman of the Year: Grant Hill, Orlando, FL - I've
always hated Duke but I've always liked Grant Hill. He's not only a really
good guy, but he somehow doesn't reek of superiority like most of those
dickheaded, squeaky-clean Dookies (Elton Brand also gets my respect). I was
always a fan, but I had given up on him ever being a factor in the NBA again.
So I've been tickled all season as he continues to play without pain. He's
not the player he was five years ago, but he's plenty good enough. I hope
he starts the all-star game. I was already rooting for Hill before I read an
article on him in ESPN the Magazine last week in which I learned that not
only has he had to deal with the well-documented ankle disasters, but he also
nearly died from an infection after his most recent surgery. OK, he had
won me over at that point, and then I learned that his wife, who has supported
him through all his health problems, started feeling weak last year and
was diagnosed with MS. What a struggle for these two. She's doing well, and you
can
read their story here as well. He gets bonus points for not mentioning
God in any of the interviews I've seen.
Entertainer of the Year: Clint Eastwood, Carmel, CA -
I haven't seen "Million Dollar Baby" yet, but I have heard nothing but great
things about it. This award is not just a lifetime achievement type dealie.
It's in recognition of what he's done in the last ten or twelve years, the years
that are usually quite unkind to major Hollywood players. Just that he's made "Unforgiven",
"Mystic River", and "Million Dollar Baby" after the age of 60 is a wonderful
achievement. "A Perfect World" wasn't bad, either. 74 and still getting the job
done. An inspiration.
Most overrated show and host of the Year: "The Daily
Show"/Jon Stewart, New York, NY - good show, funny host. Probably
about one fiftieth as funny as generally accepted to be. And even though I took
delight in his assault on Tucker Carlson on "Crossfire," he really came across
like a smug, humorless asshole when you think about it for two seconds.
Professional Athlete who most strongly resembles Hans
Bungle (of the year): Jake Delhomme (pictured at right), Charlotte, NC -
possible Halloween costume for next year.
Professional Athlete who most strongly resembles D. Lee
(of the year):
Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles, CA - the facts are the facts.
Band of the Year: My Morning Jacket, Louisville, KY
- even though they didn't release a proper record this year, this is the band
that has most moved me in 2004. Thanks to Eugene P. for getting me hooked
and for buying me two CD's for Xmas. I truly believe that the singer guy, Jim
James, is a unique talent. Of course, I said the same thing about Taylor
Dayne.
Hypocrite of the Year: Rush Limbaugh, New York, NY -
a real-live New York City hillbilly
Moment that made me mad but I can't really justify my
anger (of the year): The Oprah car giveaway.
Game of the Year: Two really good guys against Eugene and
Hans, Capistrano, CA, 12/26/04 - when my brother and I went out to play
hoops on the day after Xmas, we just wanted to get a few games of 1 on 1 in and
call it a day. We had plans that afternoon and had only about an hour to
squeeze in our game. We went to the nice courts right off the beach in
Capistrano, and played a few games of low-stress one on one. We were
getting ready to leave when two ballplayer guys showed up and started shooting
around. We could tell they wanted to play 2 on 2, but we knew time was short so
we went back to our car and prepared to take off. Then we saw we still had about
20 minutes to kill, so we walked back onto the court. Sure enough, one of the
guys asked us if we wanted to play twos, and we got started right away.
Unfortunately, we were ice cold, and both of these guys turned out to be real
good players. They went up 11-1 in a game to 15 (win by two), leaving us panting
and looking stupid. It was at this point that the parking cops came by the
court and started writing up tickets. We had assumed since it was Sunday
we didn't have to pay, so now we had to sprint to the muni-meter ticket
dispenser thing and put that ticket on the dashboard. After this short break, we
came back refreshed. Eugene started hitting threes (actually worth two), and I
started playing with the desperate aggressiveness of the over-30 warrior.
We made backdoor cuts for layups. We stole the ball. And we sliced
away at the lead. As Eugene went up for a layup, the bigger of the two
guys, who was probably 6'3" 250, came down on poor Eugene's neck, probably
breaking it in several places. But he kept playing, and we actually took the
lead at 14-13. They tied it, and then we had a couple of two-point shots to win
it but couldn't connect. Finally, they took the lead and then won it when
the big guy buried a turnaround in my face. But our parking
violation-inspired comeback deserves recognition, and so here it is.
Putz of the Year: George W. Bush, Crawford, TX - he
just does every little thing wrong. And this Iraq war is going to be remembered
as a colossal fuckup. The only bright side about his reelection is that he will
have to deal with his own mess. I'll say we'll have major troop allotments
in Iraq through 2007, when we'll semi-quietly pull out, claiming a victory for
democracy despite the fact that the country is obviously still in complete
turmoil. Runners-up: Mel Gibson, Curt Schilling, David Stern.
More Harm Than Good? Award - Michael Moore, New York, NY
- I want to like you but you make it very hard.
Man of the Year: Let the readers decide.
Woman of the Year (besides the wife): Likewise,
please make your own suggestions.
***
OK, here is IMAGE #27 for those of you still playing the GISG. Answers at
noon, I suppose.