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11/14/05: I'll slap his bald head

Before we get to today's official post, we have a couple of announcements.

The first one you've already guessed. Big Jim Lang has scraped every dark corner of the web and he has finally come up with gold. The photo of Xavier McDaniel choking Wes Matthews, the Holy Grail of Google Image Searches, has been unearthed! I am awarding Big Jim 10 points out of gratitude and respect. He is the Unquestioned Master of the Internets.

A couple notes on the picture.

1) I owned those Spot-Bilts that the X-Man is wearing. A kid in my dorm stole them from me for like a week, then returned them. They need to be reissued.
2) In no way am I diminishing Big Jim's achievement, but I seem to remember a color version of this shot. Perhaps from a slightly different angle?
3) What I love about the picture, and I guess what's made it so ingrained on our memory, is the way X is kneeling there, just choking the shit out of Matthews. How often do you have a chance, in a fair fight, to choke somebody like that? It's such a terrifying and dominating pose. I wonder what events led up to that moment in time. Also interesting to note that Matthews still has the ball. I bet his next move was to try and throw it in McDaniel's face or swat him with it. 
4) I remember an interview with Matthews from a few days after the "fight". They asked him if he expected any further conflict when the two teams met again, and Wes said, without a hint of fear, "I'll slap his bald head."

Go Wes!

Next announcement: I was pleased to see that Ahmad Rashad won his 5th consecutive "Least Threatening Muslim" award last week. Well done, Ahmad.

More weird news from this weekend: a young girl with the last name Borden may be at least partially responsible for the deaths of both her parents.

Murders aside, it was a pretty good weekend. Went to a nice elegant wedding on Saturday night, although unfortunately it caused me to miss any festivities surrounding Joe Monkeyweb's birthday. Happy Kareem Adbul-Jabirthday, Joe. I drank two beers and a glass of wine at the wedding and I woke up Sunday feeling like I'd been through twelve rounds with Bald Bull. I ain't what I once was, which wasn't much.

I've really been dreading this coming week at work, so Sunday afternoon could have been a day of intense anxiety and depression. But instead I hung out with the baby and watched some meaningless NFL football. 2 great games, Giants-Vikes (congrats JPW) and Bucs-'Skins (sorry PBdotC). I watched them with interest but I had no emotional commitment to any team. I was a football whore and it felt great.

Maybe that's the secret to watching sports. Don't root too hard for anybody.

Last pre-post question: do you think Penny Hardaway even gets free shoes these days?

Official Post begins in 3...2...1...

You know, there are lots of times every week where someone around me takes note of something that they think is especially dumb. Like all of a sudden someone from the next cube will say, "Man, our vacation policy is dumb." Or I'll be talking with a friend and they'll say, "The Real World? How can you watch that shit? It's so dumb." Or "Boy, the plot of The Eiger Sanction is so far-fetched and dumb."  And inevitably I'm all, It is? I tend not to notice how dumb things are.  But if I really think about it, there are plenty of things that I think are dumb, too. I think maybe I need to write them down. They're not necessarily things I hate, in fact some of them are things I like quite a bit. But they're all dumb as hell.

Alias is real dumb.  So is Lost. Not sure which is dumber.

Having two Dunkin' Donuts within four blocks of each other in a city that doesn't give a shit about Dunkin' Donuts is dumb.

Going to a scuzzy bar full scuzzoids and asking the bartender for "a bottle of your finest cognac" because you're trying to impress a girl...well, that's just dumb.

Fashion is stupid.

Hunting is kinda dumb. Sorry hunters. Please don't shoot me.

Palm Pilots are now dumb.

Tattoos are usually dumb.

Unprotected anal sex with multiple partners after a night drinking way too much Zima is dumb. Especially the Zima part.

The word "blog" is dumb. So is the concept, but less so.

The People Magazine crossword puzzle is unbelievably dumb.

Dogs and babies are dumb, don't let anybody tell you different.

I'm dumb. In fact I'm so dumb that every day when I wake up I've forgotten I'm dumb. It takes me until like 3pm to re-learn that I'm dumb. Then I'm sad.

Chain emails are dumb as hell, as are the legions of dumbasses who perpetuate them. I can't believe this concept has made the leap into the digital age.

Lotteries are dumb. Unless we won.* Did we win, Vic?

Cults are dumb. Even the big ones that have been around for thousands of years.

Kansas is pretty dumb.

Male tank tops are dumb.

Fraternities and sororities = dumb.

Spectravision with insertion restriction is dumb.

Bad liars are dumb.

Diamonds are dumb.

Bobby Murcer, God love him, is pretty dumb.

This post was dumb.

You're dumb for wasting your time reading this far.

To make you feel better, I will award ten Genius Points to the person who can tell me whodat?

* We definitely didn't win the big loot. But maybe $250 grand?