10/21/04: Step Right Up

I really don't have connectivity right now, but it's a desperate time so I will use whatever means I can to post something.  Like in that movie with Robin Williams broadcasting stuff through the Jewish ghetto, I am going to get the dirty job done. Because it needs to get done. Joe Monkeyweb can't do it alone.  Something terrible has happened, and it can't just be ignored.  Gas faces must be distributed. But I will keep it quick and scattershot, because I am actually too shocked to focus and figure out how this made me feel.

First off, congratulations to the Red Sox. A truly inspiring comeback and they deserve all the praise they are going to get.  When you factor in Schilling's (minor) injury, Damon's disappearance for almost the entire series, and Manny's ZERO RBI's, it's even more remarkable.  Just a tough team who stayed together and here's to them. I don't like them, but what they did is unbelievable. No Gas Faces there, especially for Francona, who took that tattered pitching staff and worked it to perfection.  This last game, it almost seemed like they were playing with us -- they had bashed our faces in against the ropes over the previous three games, and last night we were just stumbling around waiting to get knocked out.  To their credit, they swung with power and skill and put us on the canvas early.

I have no idea why they brought Pedro in, however.  And I doubt if I hear the answer it will make sense to me.

1. The Gas Face suitable for Kevin Brown does not exist. It is so hideous, just imagining what it might look like could turn even Perseus to stone. For now, let's just give him the Big Kahuna Gas Face and leave it at that.  If he spends another moment in a Yankee uniform, we have lost the bloodthirsty edge that once made us an organization worth fearing.  After the game, he mentioned that "short of giving up the well-being of my family, I'd do whatever I could to go back and do a better job of helping this team," which was almost exactly how I felt about his performance.  Only difference is I think he's letting his family off a little easy.  Like, Little Tommy couldn't spend 6 weeks in the hospital with an undiagnosed illness in order for us to get to the World Series?  That's why Brown is a failure: he doesn't want it bad enough.  Fucking Brown.  When we got him, the word was, Bad guy, injury prone, bad temper, but tough in the clutch. Well, I bought into that and I guess that makes me a mercenary of a fan.  The only problem is that they were only right about the first three parts.

2. Vasquez should just strap on his Gas Face and slip out of town before anybody remembers he was even on this team. Maybe he can get a ride on the Brown Bus.

3. It's good to get out of NYC and see how the rest of the world views the Yankees.  That Brown quote came from this article in the LA Times (reg req'd) which I felt elegantly summarized the significance of this game and this series.  Well written, to the point, and probably only worth reading if you're already registered or really care about baseball.  The first three paragraphs were particularly spot on:

NEW YORK — And now the New York Yankees have something horrible to live with, something excruciating to hang with their banners and retired numbers and superiority.

Although Boston might still have The Curse, not dead yet as its baseball team tries to win its first World Series since 1918, New York owns The Choke, the most significant and shocking collapse in baseball history.

George Steinbrenner bought it and Joe Torre ran it and the Boston Red Sox, for 85 years unable to touch it, took it apart in four nights that took the breath away from baseball fans everywhere.

Damn right and well-put.

4. The A-Rod deal didn't really hurt Boston, did it? Thanks, A-Rod.  You're a special ballplayer.* Remember this Steinbrenner quote from right after the Yankees 'stole' A-Roid from Boston:

"We understand that John Henry must be embarrassed, frustrated and disappointed by his failure in this transaction," Steinbrenner said. "Unlike the Yankees, he chose not to go the extra mile for his fans in Boston. It is understandable, but wrong that he would try to deflect the accountability for his mistakes onto others, and to a system for which he voted in favor. It is time to get on with life and forget the sour grapes."

Ouch.  That one sort of took a bite out of his ass, huh?  I admit it gave me some dirty, Boston-baiting satisfaction when he first said it.  Now it looks just terrible.

5. Kissel, your apology is accepted and appreciated.  Here I am, team going down in flames, I'm fighting for breath and for hope in the universe, and Kissel rings me on my bender-damaged cell phone**. He's my friend, my best man, and I figure he's calling to lend a sympathetic ear. After all, he's a Phillies Phan. What other reason could he be calling me in the hour of my defeat than to tell me he's sorry for the way things turned out this year and better luck in the future? Nope.  He's calling to TAUNT me and tell me how happy he is that the Yankees are losing. It was, as Sting once put it, a humiliating kick in the crotch. Really, it just sucked the wind out of my stomach and I couldn't speak.  I said goodbye and he threw in a "Worst choke ever" as I was hanging up. Wow, I must be a terrible man to have earned that one.  Whatever, all is forgiven and go Phils.

6. Overall, as bad as this series was, as hideous as the outcome was, as much as we'll never really live it down***, I have to admit it reawakened in me a love for sports I've been missing since the mid-90's Knicks.  I loved those teams, and even though I didn't really love this Yankee team, I wanted to win this series. Badly.  And the sting I felt when the wheels rolled off was real.  And the hunger I feel going into the off-season is exciting.  These games felt important.  I know sports are stupid and meaningless and should probably only be used as a distraction from all that's horrible in the world, but when you lose something the way we lost this series, it feels strangely validating.  You feel it in your stomach and you want to scream.  It sounds corny, but you feel alive. I can't explain it very well, I guess.  Just that we watched sports played at their highest level of drama and skill, and we weren't too cool to get all wrapped up in it emotionally.  We were a part of it. 

And, of course, we'll be back.

***

OK, that's it.  No more Yankee talk for awhile. The sun came out in California today, and Bible-Thumping, Bush-Backing Curt Schilling is not here to enjoy it. So I will head out to the beach basketball courts tomorrow and lament my slow chubby physique, but I'll still stick in a couple of nice baskets and I'll promise myself I am going to try to get good at hoops again.  Even if I never was in the first place.  Sports are fun.  Sunshine is fun.  And I am going to take advantage of both every chance I get. 

* As good as A-Rod is, Joe Monkeyweb is way too soft on him.  A-Clod gets his own Big Purple Gas Face to keep him warm through the winter.
** If anyone has tried to call me and been hung up on, it's my stupid phone.  Plus I don't feel like talking right now.  Give me a few more days.
*** And I mean that: our lives were forever changed by this loss.  The Red Sox are no longer the Red Sox and the Yankees are no longer the Yankees, and that goes for us as fans, too.  The smugness is going to be facing South from here on in.