1/16/05: Fucking Jets

Well, it was a good game. As we discussed earlier this week, you just can't overstate the importance of a trustworthy kicker.  And it's funny, as much as coaches like to joke about kickers, belittling them, saying they're not "real" players, these same coaches seem completely comfortable putting their seasons, and their careers, in the hands, er, feet of these same silly little kickers. You hear the coaches saying stuff occasionally about how it's a shame that all the hard work and blood and sweat that went into the long and painful season can just be pissed away by some flaky kicker pushing one wide in the closing moments of the big game.

Yet at the end of close games, with a chance to pound the ball down the field for a TD or a chip shot FG, the vast majority of coaches do the same stupid thing: look for the first opportunity to kick a "makeable" FG. You can almost hear a sucking sound as their assholes tighten up and they play it embarrassingly safe. They are so scared of a turnover that they'd rather turn the game over to their screwball kicker than place their faith in the offense to move the ball. It leads me to believe they don't hate these kickers as much as they pretend to.  Perhaps it's because if the kicker misses, you've got an automatic goat. Damn kicker. He let us down.  You can't blame a coach for a bad kick, right? Of course you can. You can blame a coach for inserting a kicker into a situation that's over his head. In other words, while Brien should probably have hit one of those two FG's, they were both tough kicks in a TOUGH stadium under volatile conditions.  Edwards had no such excuse for his decision making..

Let's call it The Schottenheimer Principle. The Jets saw it happen to the Chargers in San Diego last week, but they didn't learn.  That's the shame, and that's why Edwards is my goat of the game. With a chance to knock off a teetering Stillers squad, his anus constricted and he was only too happy to turn it over to Brien, who is a pretty good kicker but far from automatic.

Perhaps a list should be circulated to all NFL head coaches: Kickers You Can Trust in the Big Game. Coaches could consult the list, and if they didn't see their kicker on there, they'd know they had to move the ball inside the 20 to feel comfortable. I mean, kick the 43 yarder if you have to, but try like hell to get the ball down close. And here's another crazy idea: go for a fuckin' TD, you cowards.

I think Adam Vinatieri might be the only name on the list.

That said, the Jets were lucky to be that close in a game in which the offense failed to score a TD. And the Steelers were lucky to win it. Roethlisberger looked real shaky out there. I don't look for much from Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game next week. Although they will be at home, so it could be interesting. 

I watched the game over at Mark and Adrienne's house.  They are friends of AJR and Joe M. from college. It was a fun atmosphere...at one point, all four Stillers fans were standing and smoking while the three of us who were rooting for the Jets sat nervously in chairs and ate cheese.

By the way, smoking is gross.  Thanks to the righteous smoking ban, I had forgotten.  It stinks up your clothes and gives you a headache. Of my worst twenty hangovers, I'd say other people's cigarette smoke factored into maybe 17 of them.  It's like the rich butter frosting on top of the regular old hangover.

Oh, and wheredat in the picture above?