2. Riding a bike (age 13; Joe Meehan, family friend)

3. Tying Shoes (age 9, father)

4. Swimming (approximately age 9, never really learned properly; mother/father/self)

5. Driving a Car (age 18, never really learned properly, a guy named Stu)

6. Proper Hygiene of the Ass, Face, and Mouth Regions (13, 18, and 35 respectively; self, self, and wife respectively)

7. Skiing (never learned)

8. Ice Skating/Roller Skating/Roller Blading/Skateboarding (never learned)

9. Cooking (never learned)

10. Shaving (19, never really learned properly; self)

11. Singing/Musical Instrument Playing (never learned)

12. Proper Way to Greet Someone with an Air/Cheek Kiss (35; wife)

13. How to Play Basketball (14, never really learned properly; self)

14. How to Use Tools/Be Handy (never learned)

15. Dressing Nice (never learned)

16. Studying effectively (never learned)

17. Hanging Drywall (21, never really learned properly; friend's dad)

18. Fishing (13, never really learned properly, attempts were made at age 4 by grandfather but I didn't catch my first fish until age 13 on a fishing boat, taught by fisherman dude)

19. Hunting/Operating a Gun (never learned)

20. Throwing a Frisbee (8; father)

21. Girls/Sex/Reproduction (never learned)

22. Proper Bong Operation and Maintenance/Joint Rolling (never learned)

23.Tying a Tie -- Regular or Bowtie (never learned properly despite several attempts)

24. Making a Bed (never learned)

25. Riding a motorcycle (never learned)

26. Driving a Manual Transmission Car (never learned properly despite at least three attempts)

27. Religion/God (never learned)

28. Fighting/Self-Defense (never learned)

29. How to make cursive capital letters (never learned)

31. Typing (never learned)

32. Dancing (never learned)