same, more of

Sometimes I get these big broad ideas for posts. Like I'll come up with a theory and like fourteen examples that sort of support it and I'll be all set to start typing and then I just deflate. It's too daunting. So I'll let it sit for like three days, unable to write about anything else until I can move past The Theory. Eventually I officially give up on it, and only then am I able to return to my blogging comfort zones: moustaches, basketball, shit that happened in the deli this morning, etc.

Today was one of those "Big Idea" days. I came up with an elaborate theory and it weighed me down. Partly because it was really more of an observation pretending to be a theory, and partly because I was too lazy to develop it, to nurture it and watch it grow into full fledged theorydom.

But instead of letting it stop me, I am going to shelve it and keep on going with some more of the same old bullshit you're used to.

Almost two years ago I posted some crap in which I revealed the thing that most excited me about fatherhood: taking my kid on a water slide. I finally did it, you fuckers (you can click on that pic to see her sheer terror and my semi-terror).

We went to Sesame Place near Philadelphia (thanks for the hotel hookup D!), which is an amusement/water park based on the Sesame Street characters. Sort of an East Coast version of Legoland. Yes, I've now been to both Sesame Place and Legoland. If you don't have kids yet, try not to feel too jealous.

Anyway, it was crowded and the lines for rides were kinda long, but I did get to go on one cool water slide with Baby Bungle, and it made my day. There's gonna be more of that in the future.

We spent the night in Philly and that gives me a chance to do one of my favorite things: deliver an Ignorant City Review. This is when I go someplace for like three hours and decide I know what is right and wrong (mostly wrong) with their shitburg little town.

So here's Philly.

First of all, without looking at any numbers (to do so would taint my full ignorance of the subject), I'm gonna say that crime in Philly is strong. In my hour on the streets, I saw two drug deals (complete with money changing hands), a low-end prostitute, several dudes passed out on the streets, a crazy-ass ranter guy who was on something that science doesn't even have a name for yet, and a window with two bullet holes in it. And I was staying in what seemed to be a nice part of town. I just got the sense that it would be a great place to visit if you're looking to get accidentally shot in the head. (Which is ironic, because the one murder I've witnessed in my life happened in broad daylight on the streets of NYC, in a good neighborhood, and the unintended victim was...a lawyer visiting for the day from Philadelphia.)

Second, it seems like a good city to go to for food. We went to a really nice little place called Pompeii, and there seemed like a ton of other options right in our neighborhood. They take the food seriously there and I'd like to try out a few more places next time.

They have this little indoor market thing called the Reading Terminal Market -- Chelsea Market is a good comparison for New Yorkers. Like Chelsea Market, it seems kind of cool but turns out to be disappointing. We went to this diner that, despite a sterling review from phillyguy1980 on citysearch, somehow turned out to suck. How do you screw up eggs and pancakes? Ask the people at the Down Home Diner. I did have a great moment where the Wurlitzer stopped playing so I gave it the Fonzie bitch-slap treatment and it kicked in again. To my wife's horror, I celebrated my triumph by spreading out both arms with thumbs extended and saying, "Aaaaaaay." I probably destroyed the vintage 45 that was playing.

The city is beautiful, though. I was there in 2002 and before that not since I was a kid, and you really get a vibe there that is unique. By 'unique' I mean it reminds me of every other large city I've ever been to (especially Montreal) but is also a little bit different.

Philly, I think I have captured your essence remarkably.

Two more things:

I am probably very late to the party on this one, but as I was clicking on some links from our friend Uncomfortable Christina's site, I came across a really funny piece she did for McSweeney's. And in reading her fine piece, I came across another fine piece by a writer I'd never heard of named Michael Patrick Welch. Anyway, apparently he had a book in 2004 or something and you've all probably read it already, but here is the story anyway -- the more I read of it, the more I thought it bore the marks of greatness. I'm gonna buy his book and give you the full review. I just thought it was neat -- you're reading something you like that leads you to something else you like, all through the power of the internets.

Also, in support of my quest for upper-lip dominance, Big Jim Lang has been sending me some incredible moustache-related content over the last few days. I am going to start posting one of his pics per day on our sister site that tracks my progress. Hopefully they will amuse you and motivate my stubborn follicles.