tongue-biters vol. I

This is a new feature in which I will describe something I nearly said but didn't -- the rare moments in my life where my brain thought something and my mouth managed to slam on the brakes before it reached the ears of other humans.

The situation: I am riding the elevator down from my office. We stop at the 2nd floor, which is home to an antique shop. A man gets on carrying a fireplace set: a shovel for ashes, a poker, etc.

What I wanted to say: "Hey buddy, where's the fire?"

Why I didn't say it: I had never met him or any of the other people on the elevator. I wasn't sure if they would get the joke, or if indeed the joke was funny. I thought saying the word "fire"on an elevator might make everyone nervous.

Would I say it if I had another chance? Yes.