here we go again

I went to my sister's house for turkey day. There were like 25 people there, lots of little kids running around, delicious food. Objectively speaking, it was a very nice Thanksgiving day gathering.

But one thing was missing: my pop. Last year at this time he was only about 6 weeks away from death, and he may or may not have known it. But on Thanksgiving day he scraped himself out of bed, put on a nice shirt, and made it to my sister's for dinner. He ate like three plates of food, and for once I had the common sense not to tell him to watch out for the fat/salt/calories. He dug into his turkey and potatoes with complete gusto, and he was coherent and sweet and he interacted with all the grandkids with a real sense of joy.

His body was exhausted, there was nothing left in his tank, and we all knew that any day could be his last. He'd been in and out of the hospital about 7 times in the previous 12 months, and nothing the doctors tried was working for him. But for this one final day, he was himself again. Joking, walking under his own power, firing off political opinions with his usual conviction. It was so great to be with him on what turned out to be his last good day on earth.

I miss him so much, and his absence really stung yesterday. Hopefully he's off drenching his turkey with extra gravy somewhere. He deserves it.

We plan on scattering his ashes on January 20th, the one year anniversary of his death and also a special day in DC that would have made him so happy and proud if he'd lived to see it.

Anyway, I don't think there's a more obvious topic to blather on about around Thanksgiving time than 'things to be thankful for.' But that's what I'm about to do.

I am thankful I had such a wonderful father and that I was able to spend nearly 40 years with him.

I am thankful that the Knicks will have a good team again in two years. Just thinking about those Marbury to LeBron alleyoops is giving me chills.

I am thankful my kid is healthy and sweet and only does something psychopathic like once every two weeks.

I am thankful I still got two wheels under me that allow me to pretend to play sports.

I am thankful for the music I love and the songs I haven't heard yet.

I am thankful I can have beer delivered to my office and that I have colleagues who share my enthusiasm for this small and unusual pleasure.

I am thankful to my wife for keeping this family headed in the right direction with not nearly enough help.

I am thankful that I can't look back on any one decision I've made or direction my life has taken and feel deep regret about it. There have been some clunkers in there for sure, but nothing that still keeps me up at night.

I'm thankful that I'm not living in the past. It was good, or maybe it wasn't, but it's gone. Now it's just something fun to think about now and then. Like a good book you haven't picked up in awhile.

I'm thankful for the egg and cheese sandwich on toasted ciabatta and the iced coffee at Macchiato Espresso Bar.

I'm thankful I haven't been too sick this year, and with this knowledge I readily accept that I probably have a major bug coming my way. It's OK.

I'm thankful for long sleeved t-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, and new pairs of kickaround shoes.

I'm thankful for the awesome assortment of friends who continue to do right by me. And I'm even thankful for the people I've lost touch with but who rocked me at one point in life. I know you're out there.

I'm thankful for the sweet promise of HIATUS.

I'm thankful for all the blogs in my google reader. I'm thankful for reader comments.

I'm thankful for the popcorn machine I plan on getting for Christmas.

recognize

So I don't really feel that thankful this year. I know I should, but I don't.

I'm thankful my pops is still breathing air and telling stories, but I am angry he's had to suffer through such a painful and fucked up year.

I'm thankful my home life is peaceful and satisfying, but I am pissed off that my 65 hour a week job keeps me from getting much of a chance to enjoy it.

I'm thankful I can still play basketball, but I am depressed by how bad I have gotten at it.

I'm thankful that I have a slick lookin' iPhone, but I am irritated by the numerous ways in which it sucks.

I'm thankful that I finally got to grow a moustache, but i am disappointed by the fact that I had to remove it before it became a man.

One thing I am unreservedly thankful for is that I am now the official reigning champ of the punching game we have at work. I hit that thing with an 889 the other night, breaking the year-old record of 888. Then a few minutes later, I socked it with an 890. To get an idea of what an 890 is, it is estimated that Mike Tyson's most devastating knockout punch ever would have registered merely an 862 on our game.

So that feels pretty good.

I think if I ever get stinking rich, like at least 80 million in the bank, I will commission a miniaturized reproduction of the famous Larry Johnson-Alonzo Mourning fistfight from the '98 playoffs. It would have little figurines of all the key participants and a perfect little Madison Square Garden court. Of course, the centerpiece would be the Alonzo Mourning figure, complete with Jeff Van Gundy clinging to his leg:

You could come over and we could look at it whenever we wanted.

I will also give you ten dollars if you can dig up Gus Johnson's call of that fight, in which he described Van Gundy as "a little warrior."

Man, remember when the Knicks were relevant?