hijacked HIATUS

I am at work tomorrow. I've been at work 4 times already over the last two weeks, called in to supervise a fairly brainless, low-stress project. Plus I had jury duty. Before that, two weeks in California, which was great but was more of a formal vacation than a whogivesafuck HIATUS. For the first time since I started getting HIATUSes, I don't really feel like I had a full HIATUS. Which isn't to say I didn't get a nice chunk of time off, it was just all spent doing stuff. Planned stuff.

I am NOT complaining, just observing.

The good news is I've made some money, avoided The Dole, caught up on some personal shit, read some books, and I don't have to do jury duty again until 2015.

The sad news is I'm not going to make it to Chicago for a college pal reunion this weekend. If you are going to be there, I request that you do all of the following things in my honor:

-eat sausage
-eat gross deep dish Chicago style pizza
-drink Old Style
-play Buzz
-play bean bag toss game
-blast The Replacements at 4am with total disregard for the rest of humanity
-go to a Cubs game; actively watch less than 10% of it
-high five till your palms explode
-shamelessly reminisce and embellish the memories when necessary -- try to make me the focal point of all the cool stories
-refrain from texting me after 11pm, I am an old man and I need my shuteye

Before I go, I want to do a quick HIATUS status report. It's not complete yet, as I'm actually off most of next week. Here goes, based on my humble wish list:

getting new deluxe tutsi fruitsi iPhone -- CHECK -- and it is lifechanging, mofos
high-fiving -- CHECK, but could use a few more
dunking -- NO DICE
drinking iced coffee like it's about to become illegal -- CHECK, HELLS YES CHECK, I've probably had about 25 of 'em
getting bike out of storage and cleaning it up (again) -- NOPE, I haven't even done that
losing weight and burying it in the desert somewhere -- I think I've lost like 14 ounces
going to Chicago? - NOPE
playing lots of basketball -- SEMI-CHECK, about 5 times so far and more to come
going to the beach -- CHECK, one time, but hit the pool about three times as well
drinking a daytime beer or two -- CHECK
stressing about shit that got messed up at work -- CHECK
seeing two movies -- have not seen even one movie yet, but Ma Bungle and I are watching Mad Men Season One on DVD and are totally into it
attending at least 2 professional baseball games -- SEMI-CHECK, one down and plan on one more
sleeping in like 8 times -- CHECK
picking up my police shield -- CHECK
seeing pals in L.A. -- CHECK
seeing pals in SF? -- NOPE
throwing a ball as hard as I can -- NOPE, but there's still time
eliminating my strange back pain -- NOPE, still lingering but not too bad

I have also read about 5 books, some better than others. I highly recommend "Dear American Airlines" -- I bought it in the Hudson News at JFK and it sort of blew me away.

And I've sort of started running a little bit. I gots that Nike+ fitness thing on the iPhone that measures my progress. Running is hard, progress is slow. But there's nowhere to go but up.

Forgotten songs that came up in my newly expanded shuffle and temporarily became official awesome song of HIATUS 2009: "Gentlemen" by Afghan Whigs; "Skull" by Sebadoh; "Prove It" by Television; "Baby C'mon" by Stephen Malkmus; "I Want Your Hands on Me" by Sinead O'Connor; "James" by Josh Rouse; "Sometimes Always" by The Jesus and Mary Chain; "Makes Me Happy" by Perfect.

Tomorrow: Macchiato egg and cheese sandwich and large iced coffee.

And punch Judd Nelson in the face. If I see him.