get me some of them rice and beans

"They pick me [to be tested] every time. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because I'm a big guy, or what, but all I know is all they are going to find is a lot of rice and beans."

-David Ortiz, March 2005
Big Papi, the defining hero in Red Sox postseason history*, is a cheating cheater. The Red Sox, like the Yankees and everyone else who has been good at baseball in the last 20 years, are cheating cheaters.

Did you have doubts?

I'm honestly a little sad for Ortiz. But oh so happy that Boston's two titles are now covered in smelly taint. (Insert taint joke here.)

At least Albert Pujols is clean.

Bwahahahahahaha

*More than Curt Schilling, I think