man among knicks

Saw LeBron trip dub fitty* the Knicks into submission on Wednesday. Here is my report.

Sat in $250 seats with my ex-boss. I won the tickets in a raffle at my daughter's school. Best seats I have sat in for maybe 20 years, although they weren't right on the floor or anything. Just good seats.

Like, that's a good seat, but you'd have to be a millionaire several times over to pay $250 for it 41 times a year. Also, look at the Knicks' starting five: Duhon, Richardson, Lee, Jeffries, and Harrington. There are more than a few teams in the league for which NONE of those guys would start; we start all five of 'em. Gotta credit D'antoni for keeping this team competitive.

Ilgauskas is even more huge and awkward in person.

His skinny legs are the creepiest part. Amazing that you could be 7'3" with a great shooting touch and still not be a dominant player in this league.

Here's Al Trautwig ruining the game for Spike Lee. Trautwig really grosses me out.

You get the feeling that he gropes interns all day long, pausing only to squintily peer at himself in the mirror.

Do the Knicks City Dancers have day jobs? I seriously want to know. That, and what is this vagina-clinging costume made of?

Celeb watch: Spike Lee, Chris Rock, John Legend, Adam Yauch, Jay-Z, Steve Schirripa. Plus more on TV, I'm sure. And I think these two dudes on the right might be the guys from Extreme.

The anthem was handled by R & B star Joe, who I admit I don't know from Adam. He did a great job: straightforward, in key, no BS.

Here's David Lee guarding LeBron too closely. He looks like he's thinking: uh-oh.

Lee had a bad game but he's a nice player. I'm still not sure how he is averaging 16 points a game without a great jump shot or any honest to goodness post moves, but he definitely has a nose for the ball and makes the most out of his opportunities. Here he is thinking about girls while somehow forcing LeBron to shoot a 30 footer.

Here's little Nate taking a shot at LBJ.

Nate had a mediocre night but I am convinced he is a legit NBA player. He would be a good 6th man on a team with an inside presence. He is a fine shooter and an incredible athlete. But he cannot guard LeBron James. Problem is, nobody on the Knicks can.

Here's the surprisingly smooth Wilson Chandler, basically saying, "Please shoot. I don't want to get dunked on."

Here's Quentin Richardson, wondering if it's too late to go back to school and pursue his MBA.

Here's Chandler again, being knocked down, made small, and treated like a rubber ball.

LeBron has an explosive quickness mixed with the kind of strength that makes 240 pound men bounce off him like fleas. Here's Tim Thomas, 20 feet away but about to surrender a crunch time layup. (P.S. click on this picture to blow it up, then find Woody Allen in the crowd.)

Now Al Harrington, same story. Once that left shoulder gets an inch past you, you can grab all you want, he's gone.

Here's LeBron getting right to the basket amongst a sea of inferior men. This is at the end of the game, when everybody knows he's going to drive, and they still couldn't take it away from him.

Impressive. I had a ticket to Jordan's double nickel in 1995, but gave it up to watch the game at home with my man Kissel, who was visiting from Boston. Love Kissel, but that was a mistake. Glad I didn't fuck this one up. LeBron is all he's cracked up to be. Your only hope is to sag off him and hope he misses. Or double team him 30 feet from the basket and force him to give it up.

Despite LeBron's excellence, the Knicks played their asses off and stayed in it until the very end. Here's a late game three by an unconscious Al Harrington, who I must admit I like more than Crawford or Randolph.

John Andariese and Gus Johnson were calling it on the radio about 18 inches behind me and to my left. At the end of the game, I said, "Johnny Hoops!" but he didn't hear me. The guy is about 75 years old. Then he took off his headset and I said it again: "Johnny Hoops!" He acknowledged me, and I told him I had enjoyed his work for years ('I'm familiar with your work'). He shook my hand, thanked me, and said, with a gleam in his eye, "Some game, wasn't it, fellas?"

That it was, Johnny Hoops. And I hope when I'm 75, basketball still reveals new magic to me every night, the way it still does for you. I think it will. God Bless you, Johnny Hoops.

* OK, after a league review, so they took away the triple double on a questionable rebound. The NBA says they review all game tapes to make sure statistics are accurate. In an unrelated story, the NBA announced that John Stockton actually averaged only 4.2 assists for his career.